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Best-selling author & part-time governor, Andrew Cuomo, was nominated for the Nobel Prize for helping thousands of Seniors rest in peace.

Several Democrats took a break from taking a break and began legal proceedings against Viagra for its role in inciting mass erections...

Anonymous frequent flyers familiar w/ the matter say the move is a “game changer” for their travel plans & the broader airline industry.

As part of the Biden Campaign’s “Operation Hibernation” strategy, Joe will be put into a medically induced coma for the month of September.

In an industry-wide effort to emphasize that “Orange Man (is) Bad,” attention-starved actors and actresses are vowing never to tan again.

The GOP Convention even kept Sleepy Joe awake until 11pm – four hours past his usual bedtime.

“I was waiting for an email from my campaign staff about whom they chose to be my VP pick, but USPS never delivered it to me!"

The poll was conducted thanks to Marianne Williamson’s ability to act as a medium between the living and the dead.

Despite the general lack of interest among likely voters, there were record numbers of crickets tuning in to watch.

Washington D.C. – The Government of China announced on Tuesday that it would be revoking Jim Acosta’s press pass indefinitely. Official...

Members of the mainstream media expressed their objective concerns that WW3 might not break out before the end of Trump’s 1st term

Descendants of Homo neanderthalensis, or “Neanderthals,” are suing Homo sapiens for taking their land & causing their ancestors' extinction.

A Far-Left conspiracy blog called “The New York Times” declared itself to be a “reputable newspaper” last week...

…but due to social distancing, the pinky swear has been postponed indefinitely.

Shillue is expected to experience chronic swelling of the face going forward – a condition known as “Adam Schiff Syndrome”

The Democrat Party unveiled its new prototype program that combines every major progressive proposal into one umbrella policy.

Universally disliked Congressman, Justin Amash, has won the presidential nomination of the authoritarian-leaning Police State Party.

The overpaid staffers for one former newspaper and a left-wing conspiracy blog have been awarded the Pulitzer Prize....

According to the always reliable Chinese State Media, the virus was able to jump from bats to humans by infecting a hybrid of the 2 species