Biden Ahead By 11% Among Likely Deceased Mail-In-Voters


A new internal poll released by the Biden Campaign shows that the Democrat nominee for president holds a significant advantage among recently deceased Americans who are likely to vote-by-mail in the upcoming election. The poll was conducted thanks to Marianne Williamson’s ability to act as a medium between the living and the dead. “I was a lifelong Republican,” said one anonymous dead voter, ”….but ever since I kicked the bucket, I’ve become quite lonely. Given how many millions of people died due to socialism throughout the 20th century, I figured I would vote Democrat, so there will be more people to keep me company in the afterlife.” According to the poll, Joe Biden leads President Trump by 11% among deceased likely mail-in-voters…. with 15% of the respondents voicing support for Biden, whereas only 4% favored President Trump. Roughly 81% of deceased voters were either still undecided or unavailable for comment; however, the DNC pollsters assured us that most of those undecided/unavailable dead voters are likely to cast their main-in-ballot by election day, given their track record of voting - on average - in at least 2 of the last 3 elections since each of their untimely demises.


One DNC pollster commented, “we’re really seeing a lot of momentum building for Biden among the recently deceased demographic. It’s now our job to make sure that this traction translates into votes.”

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