Democrats Sue Viagra For Inciting Erections


Over the weekend, several Democrats took a break from taking a break and began legal proceedings against Viagra for its role in inciting massive “uprisings,” particularly in and around the Capitol.

The incitement can be traced back to a joke on Reddit - the controversial online forum that politicians take way too seriously - on which, one user encouraged people unable to think for themselves to “take the blue pill,” referencing a line from the 1999 Sci-Fi film “The Matrix.” Unfortunately, many left-wing activists and Democrat members of Congress who function on a policy of blind obedience, decided to take the “Blue Pill.” After a brief Google search, they were redirected to Viagra’s homepage and then proceeded to buy out the company’s available stock of “Blue Pills.”

Thanks to Amazon Prime shipping, not even one day had passed before mass erections started popping up all over D.C. Initially, the widespread uprisings seemed manageable, and experts believed they would calm down within 4 hours – but the experts were wrong. The excitement only grew larger, and at the 8-hour mark, some members of the crowd began shouting that they were “too big to fail!”

Medical professionals soon ran out of ideas, and some feared that it could take “15-days to flatten the curve(s).” Fortunately, some quick-thinking meme-makers on social media came up with a plan. 1 hour and 1 “doctored” photo of Chuck Schumer applying sunscreen to a shirtless Jerry Nadler later… the massive uprisings had withered away completely.

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