Democrats Unveil Prototype Progressive Program; Looks A Lot Like Prison

Washington D.C. – The Democrat Party unveiled its new prototype program that combines every major progressive proposal into one umbrella policy. The prototype program, which was rolled out in one small community for testing, sought to provide all inhabitants with the following “free” goods and services: Free Housing – every inhabitant is given a room, bed, and in-suite toilet Free Healthcare – everyone has access to free medical care on site Free Food - members of the community are all given 3 meals a day Free Clothing – free jump suits are provided, although they currently on come in 1 color Gun-Free Zones – only community guards are allowed to have firearms Safe Spaces – upon request, any person can use one of the community “Safe Spaces,” where individuals can enjoy peace and quiet in solitary confinement

The program has had mixed reviews. Critics of the program say it sounds a lot like federal prison; but the program’s proponents argue that “after an initial period of adjustment, members of our new community appear to be very compliant.”

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