Descendants of Neanderthals Sue Homo Sapiens For Stealing Ancestors’ Land & Causing Their Extinction

Descendants of Homo neanderthalensis, or “Neanderthals,” are suing Homo sapiens for allegedly stealing all their land and directly contributing to the mass extinction of the Neanderthal race. According to their lawsuit, the Neanderthal descendants are claiming title to any and all pieces of land that were at or above sea level in 40,000 B.C. Furthermore, the lawsuit seeks compensation from Homo sapiens for their role in causing the extinction of the Neanderthal race; a crime for which (according to the filing), Homo sapiens have already admitted to in a passage from Wikipedia, written by Homo sapiens, that states “[Neanderthals] probably went extinct due to competition with or extermination by immigrating modern humans.”

Despite the lawsuit’s bold and atypical allegations, its core claims do appear to be well-founded and backed by current academic consensus. However, soon after the Neanderthal descendants’ legal filing became public, several descendants of Homo erectus pounced, filing their own lawsuit against Neanderthals (whom they call “Homo Hypocrites”) accusing them of doing to Homo erectus exactly what Homo sapiens did to Homo neanderthalensis.

The “Missing Link” was unavailable for comment.

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