DNC Fears GOP Convention Is “Flattening the Curve” of Democrats’ Approval Ratings

After a categorically uneventful DNC Convention, the GOP took to the stage this week with an All-Star lineup of diverse speakers, personal stories, and powerful speeches. According to anonymous sources close to the Biden Campaign, the GOP Convention even kept Sleepy Joe awake until 11:00pm – four hours past his usual bedtime.

A spokesperson for the DNC said, “Those a**holes are flattening the curve of our already artificially-inflated approval ratings!”

When asked for comment, an RNC spokesperson replied, “We are reaching out to new voters, including Democrats, but we’re also focused on energizing our base. We’re all about that base!”

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