Joe Biden Prepares for Hibernation; Tells Campaign to Wake Him Up When September Ends

As September draws near, both major parties are preparing for an eventful month full of campaign ads, rescheduled debates, and strategic political posturing designed to ensure that their candidate looks as presidential as possible in the public eye.

Team Trump has scheduled a series of “Trump Rallies” throughout the country, especially in key swing states. Team Biden has taken a different tack, choosing to keep Joe away from cameras, reporters, and politically curious voters looking for more clarity about Biden’s policy agenda and mental aptitude.

As part of the Biden Campaign’s “Operation Hibernation” strategy, Joe Biden will be put into a medically induced coma for the entire month of September. The Campaign hopes that enough early voting will take place during those 30 days, so that they will have a margin of safety big enough to withstand the inevitable loss of voter support that will occur following the presidential debates.

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