BREAKING - Members of the mainstream media expressed their objective concerns that World War 3 might not break out before the end of Trump’s first term, following Trump’s help in brokering the recent UAE-Israel normalization of relations.
“This man is a menace to the world. He’s literally worse than the devil and global warming combined,” said an unnamed but notably exasperated CBS reporter as he lit votive candles at his desktop shrines of Kamala Harris and Joe Biden.
“This Administration consistently brokers historic peace deals in order to divert the public’s attention away from the issues that really matter like plastic straws, offensive jokes on social media, and the lack of diversity in carpooling.”
The Lincoln Project released a scary video as well with blood dripping down the edges and burning American flags, asking viewers “do you really want peace from a man with almost no vocabulary? War with principles is better than peace from the Fanta Führer!”
Twitter reacted by repeating demands for impeachment. Mobs of peaceful rioters protested outside the White House with signs reading “Give War a Chance!”
Israel’s only other normalized relations with Arab countries are with Egypt – signed in 1979 – and with Jordan – signed in 1994. No word on how Bill Clinton found time out from his research trips aboard the Lolita Express to help broker the Jordan deal.
UAE Ambassador to the US Yousef Al Otaiba called the normalization of relations with Israel “a win for diplomacy and a win for the region.”
Clearly Al Otaiba just hasn’t got the memo:
"Orange man bad."